I often wonder if there is still a stigma attached to seeking counselling. It maybe traditionally un-British to talk about ones feelings and the general belief has always been that there must be something wrong with a person if they needed counselling. The term alone that a person 'needs' counselling is key as it indicates they are unable to function without support or that there's something seriously wrong. The truth is more that people can benefit from counselling; that they can free themselves from loving within their defences and fears and allow them to live as they would like to; that they can become more self aware to know what is best for them.
Times and attitudes have changed and more and more talking therapy is accepted and encouraged by many. With the government initiative in flow - Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT), it aims to promote mental well-being and seeks to change the old perceptions.
As a practising therapist I fully support this as the promotion of mental well-being can have a profound effect on individuals. Further more the knock on effects onto others can be significant too. For each person who gains benefit, they may then live in a happier, more functional manner which then has an effect on people they come into contact with, especially close relations and children. Often dysfunctional behaviour is learnt or adopted from others as we grow up and these behaviours can be passed from generation to generation.
As a practising counsellor, I find it's a rarity for clients to gain no benefit from counselling. From the tiniest amount of added self awareness to complete changes in life, counselling can bring about so much. The client is always central and different therapists will work in different ways with no one particular therapeutic style being proven to be any more effective that any other.
Studies show that only 15% of the positive outcome is attributed to the therapeutic style and the way the therapist works. 30% is attributed to the relationship between the client and therapist, indicating the importance of choosing the right therapist for you. It can be a very good idea to shop around and to talk to a number of therapists if you have the opportunity to and choose the person you feel most suited to you. 40% of the outcome is based on the client in terms of their support network, their ability to move forward and their resources. The remaining 15% is attributed to the expectancy of the outcome. This is a kind of placebo effect, the belief that things will get better from seeing a therapist.
I work in an integrative therapist which means I integrate the main schools of psychology in a structured manner to suit the client. I believe this approach to be effective as it allows each client to be treated as the individual they are and the use of the most appropriate tools to allow them to gain what they wish from the sessions. Each client is unique and will have their own requirements. Some people would like to resolve issues they feel may be rooted in the past. Others may seek to assess where they are in the here and now and look to find out what needs to happen for them to begin to move forward. Others may seek to overcome unwanted feelings or unwanted thought patterns.
I find by working with the client and creating the best possible environment for effective therapy, by listening, by accepting the individual for who they are, by having an unconditional positive regard, this all creates the beginnings of a good working relationship. I have a great deal of admiration for anybody who seeks help in this way as it takes courage and strength to do so.
With regard to the government initiative to improve access to therapies, there is still wrangling over what should be offered and how this should be delivered with the debate doubtlessly continuing as services evolve and improve. Initially, it was felt that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy was the golden answer. This was influenced by it being classed as evidence based and shorter term than other therapies which pleases the NHS ways of working as well as the purse-string holders. The debate has developed and the proposed offerings have been rightfully broadened but there's still a distance to go. Beyond all that and most fundamentally, the promotion of mental wellbeing and psychological therapies is a positive movement forward to improving society's functioning as a whole.
Tuesday 24 November 2009
Tips to Help You Manage Stress
Stress can be described as an imbalance between a persons demands and their ability to cope with those demands. The personal demands that cause this stress are ultimately imposed by the individual, therefore stress, to a large extent can be indirectly self imposed.
The rigours of life can be stressful and there are times when most of us feel stressed. Stress is becoming a major cause of illness and unhappiness within the UK whether these pressures come from the self, our peers or feeling unable to cope with the perceived demands put upon us. It is clear that Stress is taking its toll as surveys have shown that stress is a major contributory factor in up to 90% of all illnesses and 5 million people in the UK would describe themselves as being very or extremely stressed.
Some common triggers of stress can include lack of interest at work, time pressures, excessive working hours, relationship difficulties, insecurity of the future and money concerns. This can result in muscle tension, increases in heart rate, cold hands and feet as blood is diverted elsewhere and increases in breathing. All of this can be very mentally tiring which in turn can increase stress levels even more.
Prolonged stress can have long term physical damage as the body's response to stress creates the fight or flight syndrome. This is where your body concentrates on its perceived emergency situation and prepares itself for battle or to run by secreting adrenaline into the blood stream, halting the digestive system, hindering growth and slowing down the immune system. This can have many effects including causing an increase in general illness levels as the immune system is frequently slowed and stomach ulcers as the digestive system is impeded to protect the stomach lining.
As a counsellor and hypnotherapist, I see a number of people who are suffering with stress or stress related symptoms. I find it's very important to begin to understand the individual and how they operate - this is key to ensure that any changes in lifestyle are the right changes and can have positive effects. Often, making small changes can be the first steps to larger and long lasting change. Self awareness also plays a significant role to be aware of how the stress became problematic to ensure we are aware of any future build ups to allow us to avoid sliding down a slippery slope.
Being aware that you may be stressed can be the first step to Managing stress. Stress symptoms include mental, social, and physical manifestations. These include exhaustion, loss of appetite, headaches, emotional outbursts (anger/crying), sleeplessness and oversleeping. Increased use of alcohol, drugs, or other compulsive behaviours are often indications. Feelings of alarm, frustration, or apathy may accompany stress.
Tips to help Manage Stress
There are many ways to combat stress and these include:
• Exercise regularly as your body can fight stress better when it is fit. Exercise also produces endorphins which can raise mood and gives general feelings of wellbeing.
• Get enough rest and Sleep.
• Eat healthy, well-balanced meals.
• Learn and practice relaxation techniques - email me for a free relaxation guide.
• Accept that there are events that you cannot control.
• Keep a positive attitude.
• Be assertive instead of aggressive. Assert your feelings, opinions, or beliefs instead of becoming angry, defensive, or passive.
• Talk to others - seek out social support from friends, colleagues and family.
• Don't rely on artificial means such as alcohol or drugs to reduce stress.
• Learn to manage your time more effectively.
• Set realistic goals - try not to overload yourself or add unnecessary pressure.
• Get yourself out of the situation, whether this be leaving or taking a break.
• Prioritise and try not to worry about the small things.
• Look around - See if there really is something you can change or control in the situation.
• Do something for others as this will allow you to be less conscious of yourself and your own concerns.
• Work off stress with physical activity such as gardening, housework or exercise.
• Be kind to yourself.
• Seek help if you're feeling overwhelmed.
How and why you experience stress is personal to you. Reducing stress doesn't mean reducing activity or not achieving your goals but rather being more effective, spending your time wisely and utilising your inner resources.
The rigours of life can be stressful and there are times when most of us feel stressed. Stress is becoming a major cause of illness and unhappiness within the UK whether these pressures come from the self, our peers or feeling unable to cope with the perceived demands put upon us. It is clear that Stress is taking its toll as surveys have shown that stress is a major contributory factor in up to 90% of all illnesses and 5 million people in the UK would describe themselves as being very or extremely stressed.
Some common triggers of stress can include lack of interest at work, time pressures, excessive working hours, relationship difficulties, insecurity of the future and money concerns. This can result in muscle tension, increases in heart rate, cold hands and feet as blood is diverted elsewhere and increases in breathing. All of this can be very mentally tiring which in turn can increase stress levels even more.
Prolonged stress can have long term physical damage as the body's response to stress creates the fight or flight syndrome. This is where your body concentrates on its perceived emergency situation and prepares itself for battle or to run by secreting adrenaline into the blood stream, halting the digestive system, hindering growth and slowing down the immune system. This can have many effects including causing an increase in general illness levels as the immune system is frequently slowed and stomach ulcers as the digestive system is impeded to protect the stomach lining.
As a counsellor and hypnotherapist, I see a number of people who are suffering with stress or stress related symptoms. I find it's very important to begin to understand the individual and how they operate - this is key to ensure that any changes in lifestyle are the right changes and can have positive effects. Often, making small changes can be the first steps to larger and long lasting change. Self awareness also plays a significant role to be aware of how the stress became problematic to ensure we are aware of any future build ups to allow us to avoid sliding down a slippery slope.
Being aware that you may be stressed can be the first step to Managing stress. Stress symptoms include mental, social, and physical manifestations. These include exhaustion, loss of appetite, headaches, emotional outbursts (anger/crying), sleeplessness and oversleeping. Increased use of alcohol, drugs, or other compulsive behaviours are often indications. Feelings of alarm, frustration, or apathy may accompany stress.
Tips to help Manage Stress
There are many ways to combat stress and these include:
• Exercise regularly as your body can fight stress better when it is fit. Exercise also produces endorphins which can raise mood and gives general feelings of wellbeing.
• Get enough rest and Sleep.
• Eat healthy, well-balanced meals.
• Learn and practice relaxation techniques - email me for a free relaxation guide.
• Accept that there are events that you cannot control.
• Keep a positive attitude.
• Be assertive instead of aggressive. Assert your feelings, opinions, or beliefs instead of becoming angry, defensive, or passive.
• Talk to others - seek out social support from friends, colleagues and family.
• Don't rely on artificial means such as alcohol or drugs to reduce stress.
• Learn to manage your time more effectively.
• Set realistic goals - try not to overload yourself or add unnecessary pressure.
• Get yourself out of the situation, whether this be leaving or taking a break.
• Prioritise and try not to worry about the small things.
• Look around - See if there really is something you can change or control in the situation.
• Do something for others as this will allow you to be less conscious of yourself and your own concerns.
• Work off stress with physical activity such as gardening, housework or exercise.
• Be kind to yourself.
• Seek help if you're feeling overwhelmed.
How and why you experience stress is personal to you. Reducing stress doesn't mean reducing activity or not achieving your goals but rather being more effective, spending your time wisely and utilising your inner resources.
Quit Smoking - Help is Out There
Stopping smoking is the single best thing you can do to improve your health and increase your life expectancy.
There are a number of therapies available to help people quit this terrifically addictive and available habit including NHS support, nicotine patches, Allan Carr's group sessions, hypnotherapy, reiki, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and the list goes on.
The benefits of becoming a Nonsmoker are vast such as
• Becoming healthier,
• Having more energy
• Having a greater feeling of control in life
• Being able to us your disposable cash for positive purposes
• Have more time
• Feel really good for your achievement
• Seeing smoking for what it really is
Habitual behaviour is often a comfortable way of being as it can provide us with a sense of security especially if our lives are particularly fraught or unpredictable. As a Hypnotherapist who helps people become Nonsmokers, often people will talk about their habit as a friend that's always there for them. I guess there's truth in that as they are always available and can provide that stable comfort. However, if I had a friend who I had to pay lots of money to, who was damaging my health and was a mass murderer - the incentive to be with him would have to be pretty strong. And the addiction is very strong, otherwise everyone would quit with ease.
As a therapist, I seek to allow the transition from Smoker to Nonsmoker to be as easy as possible and to feel the psychological rewards from new wanted ways of being. I have found a number of techniques to be very successful; such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming as well as focusing on Hypnotherapy. It's an absolute must for people to really want to stop - as if the desire is not there, then change cannot happen. You can't make people do something they do not want to do.
Often we try to avoid change as our mind likes to keep us in our comfort zone as ultimately we know we are safe in repeating past behaviours because we're still here. We will stay in our comfort zone, even if we know it's not the best place for us to be, as we prefer what is familiar and routine to what is new and unknown.
Effective help and our own added self-awareness can help by allowing us to stop the behaviours that we do not like and that are damaging to ourselves and others around us.
There are a number of therapies available to help people quit this terrifically addictive and available habit including NHS support, nicotine patches, Allan Carr's group sessions, hypnotherapy, reiki, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and the list goes on.
The benefits of becoming a Nonsmoker are vast such as
• Becoming healthier,
• Having more energy
• Having a greater feeling of control in life
• Being able to us your disposable cash for positive purposes
• Have more time
• Feel really good for your achievement
• Seeing smoking for what it really is
Habitual behaviour is often a comfortable way of being as it can provide us with a sense of security especially if our lives are particularly fraught or unpredictable. As a Hypnotherapist who helps people become Nonsmokers, often people will talk about their habit as a friend that's always there for them. I guess there's truth in that as they are always available and can provide that stable comfort. However, if I had a friend who I had to pay lots of money to, who was damaging my health and was a mass murderer - the incentive to be with him would have to be pretty strong. And the addiction is very strong, otherwise everyone would quit with ease.
As a therapist, I seek to allow the transition from Smoker to Nonsmoker to be as easy as possible and to feel the psychological rewards from new wanted ways of being. I have found a number of techniques to be very successful; such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming as well as focusing on Hypnotherapy. It's an absolute must for people to really want to stop - as if the desire is not there, then change cannot happen. You can't make people do something they do not want to do.
Often we try to avoid change as our mind likes to keep us in our comfort zone as ultimately we know we are safe in repeating past behaviours because we're still here. We will stay in our comfort zone, even if we know it's not the best place for us to be, as we prefer what is familiar and routine to what is new and unknown.
Effective help and our own added self-awareness can help by allowing us to stop the behaviours that we do not like and that are damaging to ourselves and others around us.
Coping With Panic Attacks
A panic attack is the body's reaction to fear, however, it happens in normal situations when there is no need to feel fear. They are very common, occurring in about 5% of the population (1 in 20 people) and can be defined as a sudden feeling of fear, terror or apprehension and can be accompanied by some physical feelings such as:
- Pins and needles (mainly in the hands and feet)
- Dizziness
- Increased Heart-rate
- Increased Breath-rate
- Chest Pains
- Sweating
- Jelly-legs
- Difficulty in Breathing
- Dis-associative feelings (or feelings of unreality)
- Tingling Sensations
- Chest pains
Each sufferer will experience panic attacks in their own individual way. Often, unhealthy thoughts are present with these symptoms that can exacerbate the fearful feeling. Such thoughts can be - I'm losing control', 'I'm going to terribly embarrass myself', 'I'm going crazy' and 'I'm going to die'. These thoughts are common and understandable in light of the symptoms that are being felt - however, they can keep people feeling anxious, creating a vicious cycle and can then create a strong fear of having a panic attack (fearing the fear).
Often, the natural reaction is to leave the situation and to avoid it from then on. This brings temporary relief but increases the likelihood of further apprehension and can often start a negative cycle. For example, if a panic attack is experienced in a supermarket, we may avoid supermarkets. If a panic attack is then experience somewhere else, we have somewhere else to avoid and this can continue until the individual has a long list of places they feel they cannot go which can have a great impact upon their lives.
10 facts to help cope with panic attacks -
1 - Panic attacks are normal reactions that are exaggerated - they are not dangerous
2 - The feelings will soon pass - they are not harmful and nothing worse will happen
3 - Think in the here and now - thinking about what might happen is not helpful
4 - Accept the feelings and allow them to run through. This will make them disappear more quickly
5 - Rate you level of anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10 and observe the level as it decreases
6 - Stay in the situation. Avoidance is a short term coping strategy. By staying in the situation, you are proving to yourself that you can survive in that situation
7 - Take slow, deep breaths from you stomach. Say the word 'relax' as you breathe out
8 - Notice what is happening with your body - stay with the present, being in the here and now
9 - Consciously relax your muscles. Feel you shoulders drop and allow yourself to relax
10 - Concentrate on something else. Allow you attention to be absorbed into something different
Panic attacks occur for a number of reasons and it's when your fear reaction has become over-sensitive and is easily triggered. People who are tired, stressed or under lots of pressure are more susceptible to panic attacks. The feelings are not harmful and they do not indicate that there's anything wrong.
Understanding what is going on can mean that half the battle is won. It's always a good idea to have a sound understanding and there's lots of information and resources on the internet to help.
- Pins and needles (mainly in the hands and feet)
- Dizziness
- Increased Heart-rate
- Increased Breath-rate
- Chest Pains
- Sweating
- Jelly-legs
- Difficulty in Breathing
- Dis-associative feelings (or feelings of unreality)
- Tingling Sensations
- Chest pains
Each sufferer will experience panic attacks in their own individual way. Often, unhealthy thoughts are present with these symptoms that can exacerbate the fearful feeling. Such thoughts can be - I'm losing control', 'I'm going to terribly embarrass myself', 'I'm going crazy' and 'I'm going to die'. These thoughts are common and understandable in light of the symptoms that are being felt - however, they can keep people feeling anxious, creating a vicious cycle and can then create a strong fear of having a panic attack (fearing the fear).
Often, the natural reaction is to leave the situation and to avoid it from then on. This brings temporary relief but increases the likelihood of further apprehension and can often start a negative cycle. For example, if a panic attack is experienced in a supermarket, we may avoid supermarkets. If a panic attack is then experience somewhere else, we have somewhere else to avoid and this can continue until the individual has a long list of places they feel they cannot go which can have a great impact upon their lives.
10 facts to help cope with panic attacks -
1 - Panic attacks are normal reactions that are exaggerated - they are not dangerous
2 - The feelings will soon pass - they are not harmful and nothing worse will happen
3 - Think in the here and now - thinking about what might happen is not helpful
4 - Accept the feelings and allow them to run through. This will make them disappear more quickly
5 - Rate you level of anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10 and observe the level as it decreases
6 - Stay in the situation. Avoidance is a short term coping strategy. By staying in the situation, you are proving to yourself that you can survive in that situation
7 - Take slow, deep breaths from you stomach. Say the word 'relax' as you breathe out
8 - Notice what is happening with your body - stay with the present, being in the here and now
9 - Consciously relax your muscles. Feel you shoulders drop and allow yourself to relax
10 - Concentrate on something else. Allow you attention to be absorbed into something different
Panic attacks occur for a number of reasons and it's when your fear reaction has become over-sensitive and is easily triggered. People who are tired, stressed or under lots of pressure are more susceptible to panic attacks. The feelings are not harmful and they do not indicate that there's anything wrong.
Understanding what is going on can mean that half the battle is won. It's always a good idea to have a sound understanding and there's lots of information and resources on the internet to help.
Choosing the Right Therapist - Part 2
When it comes to counselling there are a number of different approaches that therapists use. In terms of choosing a therapist that is right for you it's important to have an understanding of the most common approaches to ensure that you get the right therapist and help you need to overcome any issues you may have. I've provided an overview of the most common approaches below:
Person Centred or Humanistic - This approach assumes that as human's, we are self actualising which means that we are always looking to improve ourselves to ultimately be all that we can be. It also assumes that when we are free of defences, we are constructive, genuine and trustworthy, indicating that our defences can cause many unwanted behaviours and ways of being.
This kind of therapist will primarily seek to create the right kind of environment so that you can begin to realise and achieve your potential. It's non-directive as all of the answers will come from you, therefore, if you're not looking for any guidance, but are looking to offload and find you own way, then this might be good for you.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - This is based on the assumption that feelings and behaviour come mainly from thought (cognitions) and is a more directive approach than the Person-Centred way. By understanding and changing our thinking, we can begin to alter how we feel and our behaviour.
This kind of therapy looks to understand how we interpret our world and events and identify distorted thinking and to consequently make changes. This approach assumes that behaviour is learnt and the beliefs we have about ourselves and the world (which can often be mistaken or limiting) can pay a significant part to how we think, feel and behave. CBT tends to be a shorter term therapy than Psycho-Dynamic and Person-Centred.
Psycho-Dynamic - Freud was the founder of this approach and it believes that human's are motivated by inborn forces that drive our mental and physical behaviours where psychological malfunctioning comes from an imbalance between pleasure and displeasure.
This type of therapy is concerned with past experience to identify the inner you and how this has created your current self. 'The child is the father of the man' - Freud.
Integrative - This approach integrates the 3 main schools of psychology (listed above) in a structured manner to fit the client. This approach assumes that People are capable of change, Behaviour is purposeful, the therapeutic process has a beginning, middle and end (to explore, understand and act), the individual is the expert on themselves, People want to realise their potential (links to the self actualising tendency) and each individual is unique. Working integratively means that the therapist can utilise a range of therapeutic tools and skills to match your needs and requirements, rather than being restricted to just one way of working, meaning your therapy is often tailored to you.
Solution Focused - This approach is exactly as it sounds. It is concerned with looking at what is going right in your life, building on your strengths and helping you move forward. This way of working feels that focusing on the problem will allow you to re-experience it and often dramatises it, and although it acknowledges the past, it is more about looking at the here and now and seeing what needs to happen for the first steps to be taken. As a directive approach, it has links with CBT and is often termed as a brief therapy.
Person Centred or Humanistic - This approach assumes that as human's, we are self actualising which means that we are always looking to improve ourselves to ultimately be all that we can be. It also assumes that when we are free of defences, we are constructive, genuine and trustworthy, indicating that our defences can cause many unwanted behaviours and ways of being.
This kind of therapist will primarily seek to create the right kind of environment so that you can begin to realise and achieve your potential. It's non-directive as all of the answers will come from you, therefore, if you're not looking for any guidance, but are looking to offload and find you own way, then this might be good for you.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - This is based on the assumption that feelings and behaviour come mainly from thought (cognitions) and is a more directive approach than the Person-Centred way. By understanding and changing our thinking, we can begin to alter how we feel and our behaviour.
This kind of therapy looks to understand how we interpret our world and events and identify distorted thinking and to consequently make changes. This approach assumes that behaviour is learnt and the beliefs we have about ourselves and the world (which can often be mistaken or limiting) can pay a significant part to how we think, feel and behave. CBT tends to be a shorter term therapy than Psycho-Dynamic and Person-Centred.
Psycho-Dynamic - Freud was the founder of this approach and it believes that human's are motivated by inborn forces that drive our mental and physical behaviours where psychological malfunctioning comes from an imbalance between pleasure and displeasure.
This type of therapy is concerned with past experience to identify the inner you and how this has created your current self. 'The child is the father of the man' - Freud.
Integrative - This approach integrates the 3 main schools of psychology (listed above) in a structured manner to fit the client. This approach assumes that People are capable of change, Behaviour is purposeful, the therapeutic process has a beginning, middle and end (to explore, understand and act), the individual is the expert on themselves, People want to realise their potential (links to the self actualising tendency) and each individual is unique. Working integratively means that the therapist can utilise a range of therapeutic tools and skills to match your needs and requirements, rather than being restricted to just one way of working, meaning your therapy is often tailored to you.
Solution Focused - This approach is exactly as it sounds. It is concerned with looking at what is going right in your life, building on your strengths and helping you move forward. This way of working feels that focusing on the problem will allow you to re-experience it and often dramatises it, and although it acknowledges the past, it is more about looking at the here and now and seeing what needs to happen for the first steps to be taken. As a directive approach, it has links with CBT and is often termed as a brief therapy.
Choosing the Right Therapist - Part 1
The NHS and Government are in the midst of their initiative - Improving Access to Psychological Therapies which is pretty much as it sounds. It was found that there are a number of barriers to people gaining the support and help they may benefit from such as lack of NHS counsellors, long waiting lists, lack of awareness of what is available and the perceived stigma attached with seeking psychological support.
Seeking any kind of therapy is a very strong and courageous choice as by this time you're likely to have admitted that there is an issue (or number of issues), that you may benefit from having another person help you and that you are ready to face the issue to move forward in your life.
The relationship you have with your counsellor is very important and has a big effect on how you work together and ultimately, influences the benefits you gain from your sessions. It is therefore worth investing a little time to choose the right therapist for you.
Where do you go and who do you choose?
The Internet is great place to start using a search engine like Google or established directories such as Yell or Thompson. The major counselling organisations such as the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy or the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) have directories on their website for their members to advertise. Telephone directories or advice from doctors can also be good pointers.
In terms of seeking counselling, therapists work in different ways using different psychological theories to underpin their methods.
Tips to remember when looking for a Counsellor -
1 - You may want to choose a therapist who works in a way that you're drawn to. Each therapist is likely to state how they work on their website or when asked.
2 - Gather information - look at their website or do they advertise in a directory that provides information about them.
3 - What are your thoughts about how they present themselves? How you feel about this will give an indication about how you may feel about them.
4 - You may want to call and talk to them. This can give a valuable insight into how you may feel when you're with them. If you do not feel they are right for you, then move onto the next therapist.
5 - You may want to email them as again, this may give an insight into whether you feel you'll be able to work together.
6 - Ensure they are qualified to a minimum diploma level.
7 - Ensure they are members of a reputable organisation such as the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy or the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP). The organisations ensure that therapists work within a strong and comprehensive framework for ethical practise.
8 - Ask all the questions you want - via telephone or email. Remember, your therapy is for you and it's important you have all the information you require to make the choice that's right for you.
9 - Do they offer a free consultation - if so, you may want to book one as this will allow you to meet them and gain a feel for them.
10 - Never feel obligated or feel pressured to book an appointment. Book when you feel the time is right for you.
11 - Have a try - You've nothing to lose by trying a few different therapists to see which one fits for you.
12 - Do not give up. If you've been to counselling and found it to be of little help, it may mean that the therapist didn't fit for you or their approach didn't fit. Don't give up though and try to find another.
Seeking any kind of therapy is a very strong and courageous choice as by this time you're likely to have admitted that there is an issue (or number of issues), that you may benefit from having another person help you and that you are ready to face the issue to move forward in your life.
The relationship you have with your counsellor is very important and has a big effect on how you work together and ultimately, influences the benefits you gain from your sessions. It is therefore worth investing a little time to choose the right therapist for you.
Where do you go and who do you choose?
The Internet is great place to start using a search engine like Google or established directories such as Yell or Thompson. The major counselling organisations such as the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy or the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) have directories on their website for their members to advertise. Telephone directories or advice from doctors can also be good pointers.
In terms of seeking counselling, therapists work in different ways using different psychological theories to underpin their methods.
Tips to remember when looking for a Counsellor -
1 - You may want to choose a therapist who works in a way that you're drawn to. Each therapist is likely to state how they work on their website or when asked.
2 - Gather information - look at their website or do they advertise in a directory that provides information about them.
3 - What are your thoughts about how they present themselves? How you feel about this will give an indication about how you may feel about them.
4 - You may want to call and talk to them. This can give a valuable insight into how you may feel when you're with them. If you do not feel they are right for you, then move onto the next therapist.
5 - You may want to email them as again, this may give an insight into whether you feel you'll be able to work together.
6 - Ensure they are qualified to a minimum diploma level.
7 - Ensure they are members of a reputable organisation such as the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy or the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP). The organisations ensure that therapists work within a strong and comprehensive framework for ethical practise.
8 - Ask all the questions you want - via telephone or email. Remember, your therapy is for you and it's important you have all the information you require to make the choice that's right for you.
9 - Do they offer a free consultation - if so, you may want to book one as this will allow you to meet them and gain a feel for them.
10 - Never feel obligated or feel pressured to book an appointment. Book when you feel the time is right for you.
11 - Have a try - You've nothing to lose by trying a few different therapists to see which one fits for you.
12 - Do not give up. If you've been to counselling and found it to be of little help, it may mean that the therapist didn't fit for you or their approach didn't fit. Don't give up though and try to find another.
How Does Counseling Work?
Counselling is a talk therapy and many people gain great benefits from being able to openly and safely explore their inner world. Gaining a greater understanding and self awareness can often be the first steps towards making positive change or experiencing your world in a better way.
We are unique and as individuals we are the greatest experts on ourselves as only we know how we feel about any specific subject or in any given situation. No one can tell us how we're feeling or what we're thinking even though people will often try to guess our thoughts and feelings. When this happens, it's usually the other person trying to project their own thoughts and feelings onto us.
Counselling aims to help the individual find their own way forward and allow them to be their authentic self. Often we can get caught up in what's expected of us or how society dictates we should be rather than ensuring our own personal needs are met.
People come to counselling for a number of reasons such as - To offload their thoughts and issues, to solve a specific issue, to improve their current circumstances, to cope better with life, to explore their inner selves, to cope with anxious thoughts and feelings, to gain greater self awareness, to improve their relationships with others, to move forward if they are feeling stuck, to find out who they are and many many more.
Talking openly in a safe environment can help you begin to piece together the parts of you that are most important and it can allow you to become more self aware. For example, there may be times when we display unwanted behaviours as a way of protecting ourselves. By being aware of our defense mechanisms and what triggers them, we can begin to live in a happier and more balanced way by not allowing these behaviours to develop.
Added awareness can often lead to us wanting to make positive changes and sometimes, the very smallest of change can have great effects. For example, being aware of the tone you use when talking to others and understanding the likely reaction you receive can allow you to alter this and observe the difference this makes.
By talking, it allows you to process more clearly and deeply. By having a professional with you, it can allow you to look at things you may be missing, take on board a different view point and allow you to delve deeper beneath the surface.
We are unique and as individuals we are the greatest experts on ourselves as only we know how we feel about any specific subject or in any given situation. No one can tell us how we're feeling or what we're thinking even though people will often try to guess our thoughts and feelings. When this happens, it's usually the other person trying to project their own thoughts and feelings onto us.
Counselling aims to help the individual find their own way forward and allow them to be their authentic self. Often we can get caught up in what's expected of us or how society dictates we should be rather than ensuring our own personal needs are met.
People come to counselling for a number of reasons such as - To offload their thoughts and issues, to solve a specific issue, to improve their current circumstances, to cope better with life, to explore their inner selves, to cope with anxious thoughts and feelings, to gain greater self awareness, to improve their relationships with others, to move forward if they are feeling stuck, to find out who they are and many many more.
Talking openly in a safe environment can help you begin to piece together the parts of you that are most important and it can allow you to become more self aware. For example, there may be times when we display unwanted behaviours as a way of protecting ourselves. By being aware of our defense mechanisms and what triggers them, we can begin to live in a happier and more balanced way by not allowing these behaviours to develop.
Added awareness can often lead to us wanting to make positive changes and sometimes, the very smallest of change can have great effects. For example, being aware of the tone you use when talking to others and understanding the likely reaction you receive can allow you to alter this and observe the difference this makes.
By talking, it allows you to process more clearly and deeply. By having a professional with you, it can allow you to look at things you may be missing, take on board a different view point and allow you to delve deeper beneath the surface.
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